Fear of the fourth, daily reflection April 9.

I wanted to do the fourth.  I had a hunch – rather, knew as clear as two and two is four – it was my emotional mess that kept me an active alcoholic.  I knew that it was self-hate and deep shame that formed the way I lived;  anything like ‘better’ would have to radically […]


St. Christopher, April 8

I surprise myself with these invocations.  Help me, crow.  Bring me home, guitar.  Or Carry me, Christopher.  People say Help me, Jesus and I’ve never understood.  I’ve scowled.  Or I’ve craned my neck around, wondering what it is they expect to see, out of which corner of the ceiling Jesus is going to descend or […]


Ganesh and St. Christopher. April 7.

It is easy to forget that every aspect of our spiritual or moral life is enacted on the body.  The story of recovery, the story of our lives, is both spiritual and physical.  If we want to find what matters, what our rights and wrongs are, we do best to start in the body.  It’s […]


Abstract, April 6

My sister stands at the counter, chopping carrots.  The light comes from a window behind me, blinding me to much more than her form and the denseness of her body in the looser air around her, the sound of the knife on the cutting board.  Her daughter runs around her legs, out of the kitchen […]