Physical Controls:
-hit, grab, kick, choke, push, rape, touching after being asked not to, touching or making his physical presence known when in the company of others (i.e. holding your hand very tightly when you try to walk away, standing too close behind you, etc)
-throwing things
-assault with a weapon (knife, gun, iron, phone, magazine, door, etc)
-strikes furniture, walls, automobile, etc
-abuses pets
-physical intimidation (blocking doorways, angry gesturing)
-threatened violence (verbal or non-verbal)
-Uninvited visits or calls, following you around, checking up on you
-Not leaving when asked
-confining partner to house or a room, locking partner out of house or car
-hurting you in the context of ‘play’, (tickling too hard, not stopping horseplay when asked, pinching, slapping, spanking ‘playfully’)
-any other physical act that puts you in a position of fear
-sexual coercion: pressuring you into having sex, making you feel like you owe sex in exchange for affection, nice treatment, or as your role as girlfriend/wife/partner; guilt tripping you about sex; complaining about his sexual needs; using sex/having sex after an abusive episode; pushing your sexual boundaries; making fun of your body; pressuring you to do sexual things against your will
Psychological Controls:
-criticism: name calling, swearing, mocking, put downs, ridicule, accusations, blame, making legal threats against you, etc
-interruption, changing topics, outshouting, talking over, not responding, not respecting what you say
-pressuring: expecting you to take care of him when you don’t want to, rushing you by being impatient, guilt-tripping, sulking, making you feel sorry for him, etc
-making accusations: accusing you of affairs, claiming you don’t love him or love him ‘enough’ or as much as he loves you, accusing you of lying
-claiming “the truth”, being the authority, defining your behavior
-emotional withholding: not expressing feelings when appropriate, not giving praise, attention, information, support, concern, validation, not being vulnerable
-other forms of manipulation
-not taking care of one’s self in making friends, finding support, finding a job, dealing with legal, financial, or other difficulties.
Economic Controls:
-using money to manipulate
-controlling resources, such as the car
-not paying bills
-not giving you money to pay food, clothing, child care, etc
-taking your money against your wishes or pressuring you to give it
-putting obstacles in your way to make work or school difficult, sabotaging your advancement
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